I could write 100 cliches about how it was the best day of my life (I was cut open, a 6lb baby pulled out & then I was sewn back up, can I be honest? I’ve had better) but in reality birth in such a medicalised way can feel so blooming scary! I had an elective c section for medical reasons, due to a mitochondrial condition I had concerns that birthing my baby wouldn’t be plain sailing & after everything we had done to get there, I couldn’t bare to think of putting him in danger so I asked for a c-section & I got my wish.
On December 20th we arrived at the hospital an hour early (because what else was I supposed to do, I was nervous) so Max had lunch and I watched enviously. Once he had finished we headed upstairs to the LONGEST WAIT OF MY LIFE. There were two sections booked that afternoon and because the other lady had gestational diabetes I was the second on the list meaning more waiting before food but we filled the time by playing hangman and taking our last bump photos. Slowly we got changed into our gown and scrubs, signed all the consent forms and finally at half 3 we were walked down to theatre.
This was the bit I was most nervous for, I have a phobia of needles so blood tests for me are horrendous let alone a cannula & epidural but I did it. The wonderful nurse who was looking after us talked me through every step and to distract myself during all the needles I listened to Shagged Married Annoyed the Christmas Special. I’ll be honest, I hate needles and the most painful part was 110% the cannula, the epidural was not, I had a bit of pressure when they were putting it in but it felt the same as babies head pushing down on my cervix which was something I was very used to by week 39. they checked my legs were numb which honestly, it surprised me how numb they were and then they started.
Something I didn’t think about was the sickness, they do mention it but as someone who isn’t particularly ‘sicky’ I didn’t thimk anything if it but wow, I gagged continuously from the moment I laid down. It was relentless and I couldn’t stop gagging for at least 5 minutes but they managed to get it under control & they began.
At 16.03 my beautiful baby boy was lifted over the drapes and we met for the first time. I had to wait what felt like a lifetime for skin to skin because of checks that had to be done and because I wanted delayed cord clamping but my wonderful nurse took my phone and got so many photos whilst I waited and she kept coming back to show me. Finally he was out next to my head and I got to speak to him for the first time, his crying stopped immediately and it was then that the weight of what had just happened hit me. I was a mum.
I was sewn back up and moved onto a bed so I could be wheeled to recovery but on the journey the sickness started again. Picture me, baby in one arm, sick bowl in another violently being sick. It was awful. I don’t know what they gave me in theatre but whatever it was started to kick in and I can’t remember much at all of the next couple of hours. I have a hilarious video of me breastfeeding for the first time and I sound like I had drank the contents of a bar and didn’t know where I was. It was so bad that when I FaceTimed my friend a couple of hours after, she was concerned that I was in charge of a baby.
Luckily Max was on hand to help and I couldn’t have asked for more. He made sure I got something to eat (which I threw up immediately, I was in anti sickness tablets well into the early hours because it kept coming back) did all the nappy changes, passed me whatever I needed and generally made sure I was well looked after. At this point, although I felt much better than I expected, the epidural was starting to wear off and I wanted my freedom back. There was only one perk, they didn’t take my catheter out until the next day so I could as much water as I wanted and not get up to go for a wee, after 9 months of weeing what feels like every 10 minutes, it was a gift from the gods.
So there it is, I had a baby, out the sunroof and I braved all the needles that came with it. On a serious note, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Hilarious considering I HATED pregnancy, it really is worth it.
Court Doesn't Do Cosmetics Anymore 